Min Ngaidam Rawh!!

                                                                

            Kan ti nek nek a, kum 2016 chu kan lo chuangkai leh ta reng mai. Kum liam ta ang bawk khan kumin ‘kum thar’, nakin lawka kumhlui chang leh tho tur hian eng chanchin tha leh chhia, lawmawm leh rapthlak tak rawn herchhuahpui leh ang maw?! Hun siamtu leh neitu ni miau hek lo le, mi fing ber atanga mi mawl ber aia mawl te pawhin inang tlang pâtin kan hma hun, kan tun hun ni bawk si chu kan ar khaw thim dai chho tlang leh dial dial mai a ni ang chu! Duhthlan tur dang nei chuang miau hek lovi!! Kum 2016 (kum thar) chibai vek ule.

            Hringnuna thil langsar deuh mai pakhat chu ‘tihsual’ hi a ni ve tlat. ‘Tih-Sual’ a awm a, ‘Sual-tih’ (‘Sual’ hi ‘a va sual hmel’ tiha ‘sual’ anga lamrik tur) pawh hi a awm ve thei tho nia (chhui zau peih te tan!) Famkim lohna khawvela cheng mihring te zingah hian misual leh mi fel te hi kan lo awm ve zel a, mahse mi fel pawh hi mi fel famkim an awm lo ang bawkin misual pawh hi misual famkim a awm theih loh tur niawm tak a ni! A enga pawh chu nise, misual kan ni emaw, mi fel kan ni emaw, hringnun chhuk chhovah hian vawi khata vawi khat chu sual-tih ni lo, tih-sual hi tupawh hian midang chungah emaw, mahni chungah emaw hian kan nei lo thei lo (eng anga piangthar, ha var, inhmuam up, pheikhawk tle pawh nise), hringnun kalphung pakhat a ni ve tlat. Chutiang hun mihringin kan tawn chiah chuan thil pawimawh tak pakhat, a chang phei chuan tih hlawhtlin loha damchhung inhmelmâkna hial thlen thei, chutih ruala han lan/chet chhuahpui har phian lawi si chu ‘ngaihdam dil-min ngaidam rawh’ tih hi a ni.

            Thil ho te tihsualah chuan ‘ngaihdam dil/min ngaidam rawh’ han tih hi tu’n kan harsat lem lo. Kawng kal laia tum loh deuha mi kan han sut palh te hian kan kâ atang hian eng thlarau pawlna mah dawn hran pawh ngai lo hian ‘tihpalh/sorry’ tih hi kan hriat loh karah hian chawp leh chilhin kan sawi nghal zat zel. Mahse, thil lian tham tak, tum lawk vang reng emaw, tum lawk miah lo pawh ni ila, chutiang thila pawi kan khawih (palh) chang hian mihring hian zahna te, inthiamlohna avang te, pawi tih avang te, pawi tih loh avang te leh chhan hrang hrang avangin ‘tihpalh/min ngaidam rawh’ tih hi kan harsat leh tlat thung. Chutiang hunah chuan mi tam tak kâ atanga  awlsam taka lo chhuak ‘min ngaidam rawh’ kha awlsam taka a lo chhuahna kâ ngei atang khan a chhuak leh hlei thei ta tlat lo! Eng vang nge ni ang?

            Dr.Karina Schumann, Stanford University-a psychology a post-doctoral research bei mek tu chuan mihringin tihpalh (sorry) tih a sawi chungchang hi kum kaw chhung teh meuh zirbing na (research) a nei a(a zir bing ho chu ka ti angreng!). Chuta a zirchianna atang chuan Dr. Schumann chuan, “Pawi kan khawih hian kan zahawmna leh nihna a tihchhiat theih avangin mihring hian pawi kan khawih/thil kan tisual tih a chian tawh hnuah pawh kan thiltih sual chu kan pawm duh lo/ngam lo thin a. Thil kan tisual lo a ni tih lantirna kan zawn hmasak phawt thin avangin min ngaidam rawh/ngaihdam dil hi kan harsat a ni,” tiin a sawi a, a dik hmel fu mai. Ngaihdam dilna-min ngaidam rawh tih tawngkam tawi te hian ken tel tam tak a nei. Ngaihdam dilna dik tak (genuine apology) nei tur chuan  kan tihsual/pawikhawih chu ka tihsual/pawikhawih ngei a ni tih ka pawm thlap a ngai a, chu thil tisual kan ni tih pawmna in a rawn ken tel tur zawng zawng chu dawnsawn kan lo inhuam ve thlap a ngai bawk. Chung zawng zawng thinlungin a pawm thlap(admit) hnua ‘min ngaidam rawh/tihpalh’ tih tawngkam rawn ri chhuak chu a mawiin a ril a, hmangaih te inkarah a ni emaw, hmelma inkarah emaw pawh nise inremna tluantling siam turin a lo tling tawk em em ta thin a lo ni.

Chutih rual chuan engvangin nge he thumal ‘tihpalh (sorry)’hi a changa rilru tikhauh sauh tu, a sawitu kan rin lohna tizual ting tu a nih lai a, a changa nun thlak danglam vek thei khawpa thiltithei a nih leh lawi si? New York khawpuia cheng, psychologist Guy Winch chuan, “Ngaihdam dilna dik tak nei tur chuan thil pathum pawimawh a awm-pakhatnaah chuan ‘tihpalh’ tih tawngkam chuan ‘tihpalh’ a ni takzet a ni tih a tilang tur a ni a. Pahnihnaah chuan ngaihdam dilnaah chuan inchhirna a lang tel ngei tur a ni bawk a. Tin, a pathumnaah chuan ngaidam tura ngenna a lang chiang hle bawk tur a ni,” tiin a sawi. Mi tam ber chuan heng ngaihdam dilna in a ken tel pawimawh tak pathum te hi kan hmaih thelh fo thin niin a lang. A bikin a pahnihna khi kan ngaih pawimawh a tha hle. ‘Min ngaidam rawh’ kan tih hian kan tihsualah chuan kan inchhir tak tak em? Mi tam tak ngaihdam dilna leh a chhan hi chu reilote atana inremna (short-term settlement) atan lek te a lo ni a. Tin, a pawi kan khawiha tih lungawi tum leh duh vanga ngaihdam dilna pawh a ni thei bawk. Chik takin han ngaihtuah ta ila, hetiang ang ngaihdam dilnaah hian ngaihdam dilna chuan a tisualtu (offender) ni lovin, a tuartu (recipient) zawk a kawk tlat zu nia! Enge a chhan? Inchhirna tel lo ngaihdam dilna a ni miau alawm. Inchhirna hi intawm chi a ni lova, tlawmngaih leh hmangaih leh khawngaihna ngah luat vanga midang va inchhirsak theih pawh a ni chuang lo, mahni/mimal chanpual a ni! Jodi Picoult, ziaktu lar leh a lehkhabu ziah pakhat, My Sister’s Keeper pawh movie-a an siam hial khawpa lar chuan, “Ngaihdamna leh ngaihdam dilna hi midang tana thil i va tih ni lovin, nangma tan ngeia i tih a ni a. Hun kal tawha tang reng tur ka ni lo. Hma hun thui tak ka la nei e tia i sawi ang a ni,” tiin a sawi. Kan tihsual pawm thlapna leh chumi avanga kan tawrh tur zawng zawng pawh huama tisualtu nih inhriatna/inpawmna atanga ngaihdam dilna, ‘min ngaidam rawh’ lo chhuak chuan inchhirna, tuma chuh buai theih loh leh tawmpui theih bawk si loh chu a rawn keng tel thin a. Chu tawngkam, thinlung atanga rawn irh chhuak leh kâ in a rawn puanchhuah tâk ‘min ngaidam rawh’ chuan alawm mi tam tak nunna chhanhim a, hmangaihna kehchhe tawh leh intuithlar tawh te pawh suihzawm leh van Pathian thinlung ngei pawh ti puak keh a, inlamlet tir thin tu chu! A va hlu em! Hei vang hi a ni ang kan Bible pawhin ngaihdamna/inngaihdamna a lo ngaihpawimawh em em ni-Mathaia 18:21,35, Marka 11:25-26, Luka 6:37,17:4, II Korinth 2:10 bakah Thuthlung Hlui leh Thuthlung Thar bu hrang hrangah hmuh tur a awm. (Inzawn ve tawh mai rawh u!) American ziaktu lar Bill Hicks pawhin, “A khaikhawmnaah chuan tupawh Pathian hmangaihna tawp nei lo sawisel chu chatuana hrehawmna in a hmuak a ni. He thu hi kan than len pui a ni lawm ni? Rin mai nge i duh chatuana boral? Lalpa, duhthlan tur min pek avangin kan lawm e,” tiin Pathianin  hmangaihna avanga kan sual te a ngaihdam chungchangah lawmthu a sawi hial a ni.

            A tlangkawm nan thu nawi ka’n nei lawk teh ang. Ngaihdam dilna pawh hi kan tawngkam hman hian kawngro a su thui ve khawp asin. “Nimin kha, in naute piancham lawmnaah khan ka lo kal thei ta si lova min ngaidam teh u,” tih hi ngaihdam dilna tawngkam mawi tak chu a ni. Chutih rual chuan heti hian han ti ta ila, “Nimin in naute piancham lawmnaah khan ka rawn tel thei ta si lova, engmah ka rawn sawi ta lo bawk nen. In rilru te ka lo tina palh a nih chuan min lo ngaidam hram teh u.” A tul teh duah lo ka ti keipawhin!! Mahse, a dawngsawngtu dinhmunah han in chan ve thung teh, a khawi zawk nge ngaihthlak nuam zawk ang le?!!

Engpawhnise, tisual palh thei vek kan ni e. Ngaihdam dil hi hreh lo ila, hreh loh kan tih rualin ngaihdam dilna dik ni bawk se huat kan nei lo ang a, min hawtu pawh an awm lo bawk ang a, chenpui nuam, kawm nuam leh fel nih kan hlawh mai dawn a lo ni. C. Joybell chuan, “Mihring hian a mihringpui te a ngaihdam a ngai a ni. Anmahni kan va duh hmasak emaw, thiana va siam kher emaw, text message kaltlanga thinlung(heart) lem va thawn hmasak kher emaw a ngai lo. Kan ngaidamin, en kânin kan theihnghilhsak mai zawk tur a ni. A chhan chu chutianga kan tih loh chuan kan ke-ah lungtum kan thlun belh zel tihna a ni a, a tawpah chuan kal thei lovin min uaibet reng mai dawn a ni,” tiin a sawi.Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience lehkhabu ziaktu kamchhuak hi mawi ka ti thin. “Hringnun hi inhmangaih, inpeizawn, inngaihdam, hlim, induhsak, intuam dam leh inhmangaih zual zelna tur a ni. Kei chuan chutiang hringnun hman chu ka thlang a. Chutiang taka zing ka thawh dawn pawha Setana ngei pawhin,”Awi karei!!!A tho leh dawn ta!!” tia min huphurh khawpa hringnun hman hi ka duh a ni.” 2016 ah hian Pathian leh kan mihringpui te hnenah ngaihdam dil ila, i inngaidam tawn bawk ang u hmiang!